I have been trying to not get my hopes up. I thought I was doing pretty good at that, but the fact that I'm sobbing so hard that I can hardly type means I haven't done too well after all. The verse we have at the bottom of our blog says that "hope does not disappoint us". I wonder what this is then.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I just got off of the phone with Hope's primary night nurse. I asked if she had weighed Hope yet, and she said I was going to do a happy jig. Hope hit 7 lbs 1.2 oz tonight. I was so excited. I asked, almost as an after-thought before hanging up, "And she hasn't had anymore blood in her stool, right?" Silence. Then, "I can't lie to you. I was really hoping you wouldn't ask. But the last one the day shift sent down initially came back negative. They called back awhile later and said it was actually positive." She went on to say that she doesn't understand what happened and she's going to check it herself tonight in addition to sending it to the lab to get checked.
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Proverbs 13:12.
ReplyDeleteAmy, I don't think we can look at that scripture and think that it means we'll never have feelings of disappointment. Rather, in the long run hope does not disappoint us. We are also told that we will have troubles in this world, but that our Lord will see us through those troubles (not around them) and He will give us the strength to bear them. I don't know why He is allowing you to have so many hopeful times followed by the disappointing set backs, but I feel certain that one day you'll look back on this time and understand. My heart goes out to you, because even though I can't put myself in your shoes and understand how difficult this all is for you, I do recognize that it has to be absolutely heart rending at times. Don't beat yourself up for feeling angry with God from time to time. He knows and understands your heart. I too am asking Him "why does this little one have to go through so much?" Know you are loved and prayers continue to go up for you. I may not write often, but I do check your blog each and every time I'm on this computer, just to see if there is any new update. That means I'm checking in on you at least three or four times a day. And when I have a good update to share with others, I take the latest to my prayer warriors as well.
ReplyDeleteAmy we love you so much and continue to ask the Lord to give you His wisdom on Friday. We think you should go to Seattle ASAP but that might not be the best for Hope or part of His plan. I am so glad you asked people a few entries back to pray for God's wisdom. You are definitely on the right track there! I was hoping we could come up to the hospital in the next few days but the roads to get from our house down into town are really kind of bad so we haven't been out much. We are praying for you continually and really appreciate the blog. When the weather gets a bit better we want to have you all come up for a meal and maybe some games. I hope the kids are enjoying the amazing amount of snow we have. I need them to come up and build me a snowman. We love you all so very very much!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Amy, That's wonderful news that Hope is continually growing and gaining weight! Do you have a mailing address there? I will keep praying for Hope and you all. We sure miss you guys! love lots! --Kelly Taklo
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